Chelsea Lately host and all-around funny gal Chelsea Handler has had her fair share of crazy experiences. Recently, the no nonsense comedienne took some time out to sit down with us and share her go-to tips for surviving the good, the bad and the downright ugly when it comes to the college scene.
Q. What do you do if you get stuck with a crazy roommate?
A. I think you just have to kill people with kindness because you don’t want them having access to your things. You can always call them names behind their back like “camel toe” or “dumb dumb” like I did with my roommate. You just have to make sure that she doesn’t know you think she’s crazy. So when she’s talking
about things that make absolutely no sense, you just have to feign interest until you can tell another friend about it.
Q. What’s the best college drinking game?
A. I like beer pong. Beer pong is the best because that way the person you’re playing against is far enough away from you that you don’t have to smell any sort of malodorous or gaseous toxins that might be coming from them… because I know that’s when I drink, that happens to me.
Q. How do you have fun at a frat party without getting ruphied?
A. I think the most fun you can have at a frat party is when you’re flirting. I think frat parties are good for flirting but no penetration – leave that for parties in your dorm room when there are only two people.
Q. If you get caught doing the “walk of shame,” what’s a good cover story?
A. There really is no way out of the “walk of shame.” I think the best thing to do when you get caught doing the “walk of shame” is to call yourself out first and be like, “Everybody knows what this is. Let’s all be honest. Everyone knows what happened to me last night…and it was amazing. Obviously, you can’t tell that by the mascara running down the side of my face, but take my word for it. It was AMAZING !”
Q. If you could throw the ultimate theme party, what would the theme be?
A. Well, I do throw a theme party and it’s called “Grey Goose.” You get there, you bring Grey Goose and everyone drinks Grey Goose, and when you leave, someone “gooses” you.
Q. What’s the perfect jungle juice mix?
A. I’ve never been dumb enough to mix alcohols. You really have to stick with one. I either drink margaritas or Grey Goose, so my jungle juice mix would be like margaritas with like a splash of OJ or cranberry juice. I really don’t get much more
wild than that. I know my alcohol. That’s why I’m so good with alcohol and you’ll never catch me drunk… we have a very healthy relationship.
Q. Got a good hangover cure?
A. Yeah! Remedy! The best remedy there is. You go to the website, it’s called rememdyworks.com, you take one pill right after you have your first drink and you take one pill right before you go to bed, which is hard to remember when you’re drunk, but it does work. And then in the morning if you still don’t feel well or you forgot to take the pill, you take one in the morning and it cures your hangover.
Q. If your friend passes out with his shoes on, is he fair game?
A. Yes. I mean if someone passes out with any kind of clothing on and it’s on a bathroom floor particularly, then it’s definitely time to get a cup of warm water.
Q. If you could invent a sorority, what would you call it?
A. Well, there’s already “Girls Gone Wild”…hmm… “Jews, Mormons and Muslims?” “JMM?” It would be like a meeting of the minds; a United Nations. “Jews, Mormons and Muslims.” I like it.
Q. What’s a good opener for talking to the hot guy in class?
A. “Do you like pikachu?” That always works. It’s better to be upfront and honest.
Q. Got any tricks for staying awake during an all-nighter?
A. I think it’s always better to get some sleep and wake up early the next morning because those all-nighters aren’t good for your brain. I think we’ve all learned that all-nighters aren’t good for any part of your body especially your face. I’ve never been able to pull an all-nighter when it involved studying. When it involved other things…sometimes.
Q. If you could create your own major, what would it be?
A. Um…origami? I’m amazing at origami. I’m at the top of my game and too bad I’m at the top of my game because I’m the only one in the game.
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