| Sex Tips |
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| Written by Michael Ritter | |||||
| Tuesday, April 11 2006 | |||||
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Mile-High Club Now, we have all gotten on an airplane and prayed that the person sitting next to you is a hot super model or muscle man. You try to not make eye contact with the foreigner and you definitely cringe when the fat old lady checks her ticket stub while approaching your isle. It’s one in a million, but you still have a chance. And then it happens, sweet mercy, eleven hours next to a sex goddess. Plenty of time to break the ice, seal the deal and get some digits. But here lies the rub. You’re flying to Heathrow to connect to Bangkok and she is flying to Heathrow to connect to Paris. After the small talk, where are you flying? Where are you from–bullshit, you finally get to the good stuff. Do you have a boy friend? Nope. Game On. You have come so far, yet you have so much further to travel. You know you are in the game, but you don’t know if she is game. And more importantly, you have to sit next to her for the next ten some-hours, so you don’t want to make a fool of yourself too earlier on. But you have to act quickly before the headphones. You have to keep the conversation rolling and you have to keep in control of the direction. Ask questions and try to get the questions more personal. Order some wine or a beer and see if she follows suit. If you can break out the booze, you’re that much closer. The key is to get to questions about dating and sex, leading up to questions like “what kind of crazy places have you done it?” Now be careful with this question because it is pretty obvious what you are leading to, so don’t be an idiot and blow it. You have to gage her actions and answers. Check to see if she is fidgeting with her earphones, trying to lift up a magazine or whether she is looking around for a flight attendant. All of these signs are cries for help because she hates you and thinks you are a freak. But your conversation is going great, she by-passed the movie and you are getting the play-by-play of the experimental three-some she had before she left. Finally, you drop the big question. So, have you ever done it on an airplane? I’ll meet you in the bathroom on the right in five minutes.
Foreign Sex Trend: The hottest sex scene in the UK is turning out to be in the backseat of your car. Strangers from across the country are engaging in what has been termed “dogging.” A combination of exhibitionism and casual sex, eager participants flock to empty parking lots, lover’s lanes, and rural parks to participate in random sex acts, or, better yet, watch others get it on. As a result, a whole culture of doggers has developed, complete with their own slang, etiquette, and networks. Developed in the 1970’s, the British term dogging, was used to describe men who followed and watched couples having sex in public. Dogging has evolved into a form of organized public sex. Couples can find local dogging hot spots online, singles can arrange meetings on dogging networks (think facebook, but for sex fiends), and just about anyone can be a voyeur. As crazy as this all sounds, there are dogging rules. For instance, a flash of the car’s interior light means a couple wants to be watched; a rolled down window is an invitation to get closer, or cop a feel. Doggers are encouraged to share their view; blocking a fellow dogger from the salacious sights is a no-no. Condoms are also a must at all times, after all, if you’re dogging, you really don’t know where anyone has been. Before you go out and try to single-handedly bring dogging to the US, be forewarned. In the UK, doggers are only in trouble legally if a complaint is filed against them. Most British law regarding public nudity and fornication is designed to keep innocent individuals from witnessing lewd acts. In America, laws vary from state to state, county to county. Although there is a growing public sex movement here at home, check your local laws before you get frisky al fresco.
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