| Katie Couric on Paper |
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| Written by Melissa Greenwood | |
| Saturday, May 06 2006 | |
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FROM TRI DELT TO CBS AND HER WINNING RESUME Through some devious means, we’ve managed to acquire Katie Couric’s resume and the cover letter she sent to CBS, landing her the first-ever female anchor position for the channel’s evening news. Ever wondered what an award-winning career looks like, 27 years in the making?
555 Cherry Lane I am applying to be the next Tom Brokaw. I know that a woman has never anchored the evening news solo, but I think it’s about time that changed. I have a bubbly personality and killer legs, so pick me, pick me!!! (Sorry, sometimes my inner-cheerleader emerges). My prior anchor experience on Today and Dateline NBC makes me an excellent candidate for this position. In addition, my likeability factor will help to salvage your plummeting ratings. Finally, my tailored suits show that I am well suited for this line of work (and that I’m funny—or should I say pun-y). I acquired an excellent mastery of American Studies (I know, totally unrelated), at the University of Virginia, where I earned my Bachelor of Arts while partying hard with my sorority sisters—Delta, Delta, Delta baby! I even worked at the school paper, which clearly proves that I’m qualified to be Brokaw’s replacement. I am certain that a one-on-one interview will allow me to demonstrate just how big of an asset I can be to your network (and by asset, I in no way meant to conjure up images of my perky, Katie breasts). Furthermore, my savvy at pulling off fluff pieces as news is a talent few others in the business possess (OK, maybe Nancy O’Dell). Lastly, I assure you that my integrity and work ethic will make me a trustworthy and reliable employee, albeit a very expensive one (even with the pay cut). I am an ideal candidate for this opening because of my enthusiasm for a new challenge (not to mention my utter apathy toward my over-priced Today gig). Please contact me at your earliest convenience so that I may provide you with more information. I can be reached at 917-555-1230 or at This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it . Hire me! Hire me! (Again, I apologize for my eagerness but I have far too much energy to contain). Sincerely,Katie Couric Enclosure: Resume 555 Cherry Lane New York, NY 12345 This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it Katie Couric Today New York, NY 1991-2006
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