What’s a good tip for a perfect first date?
Try not to bring up your obsession with your pet because, while endearing, it could be a turnoff. An example would be like, “Oh after dinner, why don’t you come upstairs and… meet my 400 pound orange cat that only has one eye… and then you can go home.”
What’s the best pick up line a guy has ever used on you? What’s the worst?
The best pick up line was, “Hey, if you let me bite your neck, I’ll give you eternal life.” I bought it… and now I’ll never age. The worst was when some guy walked up to me and was like, “You’re pretty short.” And I was like, “Your mom is short. Don’t touch me.”
What is the best way for a girl to ask out a guy she likes?
First, make absolutely sure he likes you because there is nothing worse than rejection. But the best way to do it is to be really aloof and have your best friend maybe do it for you; maybe send him a note with kittens on it; maybe hire a skywriter. Whatever you do, don’t directly ask him because men hate communication.
What’s the best way for a girl to get a guy’s attention and keep it?
Get naked. If a girl gets naked it’s like there’s something wrong with her mentally, and guys like crazy girls. Or, assault is always an attention-getter…I got that one from Cosmo.
When you’re in college, what are the best places to meet guys?
Your dorm is a great place to look if you want to hook up with someone and then awkwardly ignore him for the rest of the year. A frat house is a great place if you want to make out in a room with 30 other dudes in bunk beds, and a bar is a great place to meet guys who pretend to go to your college but are actually like 23 and have already graduated from the community college next to your college… I would say class, but who goes to class?
Who makes for a better date? A smart, funny dude or a really hot guy?
I think a smart, funny guy is a better date. Looks fade if you’re a douche. I would know because I’ve dated a lot of hot guys. If a smart, funny guy can be good looking at the same time then bonus! I think if a guy has a killer personality he tends to get more attractive… unless he’s like morbidly obese and has terrible skin. You don’t want to kiss someone with terrible acne because then it’s like, “Is that going to get in my mouth?”
What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?
There was a suicide bomber on the train we were on… That date did not end well…
How can a girl get out of a date that’s going really badly?
Be like, “Oh my God. I’m going into labor. I have to leave right now!” One time I went with my
two girlfriends to meet these guys at a bar, and you could tell these guys were total liars and losers and really boring. So we excused ourselves to go to the bathroom, and we snuck out the back and drove away. We were afraid they would see us, so as we drove away, we all ducked down so it looked like the car was just driving itself. You don’t really owe anyone an excuse if they’re being an idiot. Let them figure that out on their own time.
What makes a guy boyfriend material?
Um…. gills? In all honesty, someone that genuinely likes you for you.
What’s the best way to dump a guy?
Start by setting fire to his apartment, or send a text that says: g2g tlk l8r =(
What’s the best cure after you’ve been dumped?
The best thing you can do is spend all the money in your bank account. Then, get rid of all the things you have that remind you of him. Get rid of your clothes. Get rid of your bedspread. Shave your head. Get rid of any family members that he knew, and start from scratch.
If you’re dating a guy, what’s the number one deal breaker/major red flag?
If you find out he’s a shape shifter that means he’s evil… or if he’s a member of NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association)… or if you find out that he has a tribal arm band tattoo… or he wears Ed Hardy clothing… or he says things like, “Peace out.”… or you find out that he really makes an effort to dance at night clubs (guys should just watch girls dance)… or you find out he has a lower alcohol tolerance than you…or you find out he recycles… or he has a lot of jpegs of his face on MySpace… or he tans or uses tanning products… or he has any tattoos that have to do with a friend that passed away or his heritage (even though he’s white)… or he talks more than twice a day to an ex girlfriend… or he poses in pictures… or he wears skinny jeans… or he has anything hanging from his rearview mirror… or he has a little dog…
Do you think a girl should play hard to get?
You should play hard to get if someone is physically chasing you… I think anytime you date, there’s always a small game of cat and mouse, but if you play it for too long you seem like you think you’re worth more than you are. So you should never do anything that isn’t 100%
authentic to you.
Should you stay friends with an ex-boyfriend?
Yeah, if he’s a good guy. An ex-boyfriend isn’t like a candy bar you took a bite of and didn’t like. You don’t have to get rid of the whole thing. If there are parts of him you like and if he’s cool with being friends and not trying to go in for a kiss every time you release from hugging, then yes. Sometimes you have to make out with someone to realize you should be friends.
By Jillian Gordon
Photos by Bobby Quillard
Makeup by Kristen Browning
Hair by Katy Khatami of Bungalow Salon
Location: Elevate Lounge, Downtown L.A.
Upcoming Show Dates for Iliza Shlesinger
Oct. 4 - Mesa Arts Center, Mesa, AZ
Oct. 5 - The Grove , Anaheim, CA
Nov, 15 - Viejas Casino, Alpine, CA
Nov. 16 - Lancaster PAC , Lancaster, CA
Dec. 13 - Cache Creek Casino, Brooks, CA
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I took your advice from #130 and came to see your snmag pics.
you're completely gorgeous in all your pics! However, the prone position in a little black dress is my favorite! A fabulous comedian and a hot model!! What a combo!:)
Best wishes,
Jim